Added some tones to hopefully read better, moved a few things around and added a couple of things here and there. Kinda like the story the way it is, it is pretty "slow" but, I kinda like it like that. Thinking about the audience though, and what's more entertaining for them. Might cut out the 1st and 3rd act, stick inside the 2nd and add a couple of devices so it feels like a complete story.
Maybe, that means reboarding everything though and in the end the story might feel really empty. Going to see if I maybe board the new story we brainstormed in class and see how that plays, dunno. Although there are a lot of great ideas out there and many ways to skin a cat, gotta think about when to stick to your guns, which, when you're learning, should you?
Anyway:
Maybe, that means reboarding everything though and in the end the story might feel really empty. Going to see if I maybe board the new story we brainstormed in class and see how that plays, dunno. Although there are a lot of great ideas out there and many ways to skin a cat, gotta think about when to stick to your guns, which, when you're learning, should you?
Anyway:
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