January 15, 2011

ATSB

Another terrible storyboard, this time, the protagonist does nothing but want!


Bear looking through bars


Cuts to him looking through bars


OTS with a tree silhouette in distance


Cuts close, it's a beehive


Cuts back, bear wants


Looks back (hears something)


Cuts out, shadow approaching


Zooms out, it's the guard (cheap prop: it's christmas)


Camera drops following cop to meet bear looking at keys


Cuts OTS, guard opening


Guard opening, has pancakes


Cuts to bear, guard in the distance


Cuts to his pancakes on hand


CU to bear


Top down, guard throws pancake platter


Camera drops to bear with pancakes in hand


Camera tilts up


Tilts up


Bear head tilts up


Expression change on CU


Cuts POV of pancakes


Bear wants


Cuts out to bear looking with bars


CU bear for expression change


Cuts to early shot with tree in silhouette


Beehive


Zooms in with honey dripping


MCU to bear with pancakes


OTS, guard approach (note cheap santa prop)


Hands extends with something


Bear snout FG, guard hands him present (honey)


Guard squeezes out honey


Bear eats pancake


Everything went better than expected

So, why is this bad? Hm...it was supposed to be centered around a christmas present, the only indication was that cheap santa hat. Maybe some snow outside may have helped, maybe a reef or two? Biggest problem, the bear does nothing to get the honey, it's literally handed to him. There wasn't really even a climax?  Thinking about it, the story goes from the first act, skips everything between, and just goes to resolution; the button

Story is hard.

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