Orange Cut - Redone

Been meaning to post this for a while now. Had to revisit this for class, I worked on it a bit more after and really tried to flesh out the 1st act.

[edit] Pitched:

Establishing shot of a market alley with oranges

Dude sneaking behind what seems to be an orange selling shop

Dude looks right suspiciously

Creeps up

Hugs the wall in anticipation 

Peeks over

No one there

Looks back

Looks around wall

Looks into shop and there's the keeper

Cut closer to keeper

There's a gun!

Ah!!!

Glavin!

Sad

Oranges...

Mmmph

Gonna do this

Walks in front of shop nonchalantly 

Whistling by

Looks over newspaper suspiciously

Whistles more

Hmmm...

ECU to mouth whistling

Eh...

Fooled him

*angel chorus*

Oranges!

oranges...camera starts to pan here

Camera ends pan, keeper in silhouette

Cut to keeper grabbing soda

Match-on action to soda grab

dude grabbing organge

closer to soda

closer to orange

grabbed soda

grabbed orange

Mmmmm, soda

Heh, soda

Wait, what's that back there?

What the-

spit

Hold up!

Fuck yeah, jacked them oranges

Crane shot match on action running out of shop

Blocked by someone forward center

goes left

blocked left!

goes right

blocked right

goes back center

blocked center

Cut close

Reaches for knife

match on action to grabbing knife, something in back

rack focus to keeper

whip pan left

whip pan ending

focus on kid, low angle shot

cut back to dude with knife grabbed

cut to keeper

low angle cut to dude, doesn't want to do this

lets go

too late, dude has gun

shoots

tracking bullet through 

tracking bullet, starts going towards barber shop

tracking bullet inside the shop

bullet crashes in mirrorr

barber goes popeye

cut CU to dude, keeper approaching with gun

Dude looks down, keeper still approaching

Eye line match to kid

Camera drops, oranges are falling by dude's feet

camera starts tracking one orange, dude's foot moving

orange approaching other set of feet

hits foot

orange is grabbed

it's the keeper! can tell by the suspenders

confirmed, keeper looks down at orange

looks up from orange

cu to keeper's expression

Dude has kid hostage, stop!

END SCENE